Ever since I was a
little girl, I have loved reading biographies.
Blogs, to me, are similar to biographies. I love reading the thoughts and insights of
people I admire and want to become like.
Also since I was little, I have been a faithful journal keeper, so
starting my own blog has been in the back of my mind for a while. I am excited, but also nervous. Blogging feels like you are leaving your
journal, with all of your thoughts and feelings, right open on the table for
anyone to read (probably because that is what blogging is). I apologize in advance if I ever write
something offensive to others, I am known for being too honest at times. However, I have been working on that and hope
that I can be sensitive in my writing.
If you ever have feedback, let me know, I would love to hear from you. I’m excited to get started and grateful to
Megan Rowley and Matt Bryson for editing my posts. How spoiled I am to have such incredible and
intelligent friends.
Lately I have been
surrounded by a lot of single women who are discouraged about dating. I understand, dating is hard, it’s awkward
and we live in a culture (Utah Mormons) where there is a lot of “encouragement”
to get married. Dating is the key part
of that, of course, so we feel a lot of pressure when things aren’t going so
well. Many of these girls have asked for
my thoughts and advice on their situations.
This blog post is for them and anyone else who may be in need of it.
On the last night of
my very first girl’s camp, one of my young women leaders shared a message that
I will never forget. (A similar story was also shared by President Uchtdorf in
General Conference April 2011)
There once was a
woman who dreamed of going on a cruise ship.
She yearned to see many exciting, new places, and learn of different
cultures. She saved every penny until
she had just enough for the passage.
Since her funds were tight, she brought an extra suitcase filled with
food to live on every day. She would
have loved to participate in the many activities that were offered on the ship,
and to have tasted the amazing food at the many fancy restaurants. But she didn’t have the money. Yes, she was able to see the amazing cities
that she had longed to visit, but for the most part of the journey, she stayed
in her cabin and ate only humble food.
On the last day of
the cruise, a crew member asked her which of the farewell parties she would be
attending. It was then that she learned
that on the fine print of her ticket it said, “All food and activities on board
are included in the price of this ticket.”
Too late did she realize that she had settled for crackers when she
could have been eating cheesecake.”
My young women’s
leader applied this lesson to marriage.
The story is so sad to me but is an excellent reminder that we must
NEVER settle. We deserve cheesecake, the
very best, so we must read the fine print.
Look for men that are not in the spot light but are silently serving our
Lord. It is the small and simple things
that matter. His looks will fade with
time, but his intelligence and actions will not. Cheesecake is our goal, and we will not
settle, but we must also remember, “You are a daughter, princess of God; a
timeless crown that will never be taken off.” – Matt Bryson. Are we acting accordingly?
We are daughters of a
King! Really, think about that. This concept can be so difficult for me to
grasp, so I try to imagine myself as a literal Princess, the leader and representative
of a Kingdom. A kingdom that depends on
their Princess to follow through on her duty, and behave according to the
guidelines set. The kingdom adores her
because she works hard to serve and love her people.
As daughters of our
Heavenly King, are we acting as the literal princesses that we are?
Representing Him, and standing as His witness, at ALL times, in ALL things, and
in ALL places? Are we following ALL
guidelines that have been set in the Strength for the Youth, following through
on our commitment to serve and love His other children?
I am going to hit one of these points that I feel very
strongly about – guidelines. I recently
had a conversation with a dear friend of mine who was frustrated because it
seems that even the good boys are choosing to date immodest women, she wondered
that if we would bend our standards and dress immodestly if we would receive
more attention from men. Of course, I
told her that we wouldn’t want a boy that loved an immodest girl- we want to be
loved for our actions, intelligence and the standards that we live. However as I went on with my week I started
to feel discouraged and I was able to see the point that she was making. It does seem that immodesty wins the
game.
I have tried to understand that not all LDS girls have
been taught the same rules that I have regarding modesty while growing up, so I
am trying very hard not to judge. I also
acknowledge that perhaps someone else’s family could have regarded my
traditions as immodest. In my home, it
was taught that dance clothing was appropriate as long as it was as modest as a
modest bathing suit. However, I’m sick
and tired of girls that are LDS- my very same religion, and have been
instructed by our prophet in the Strength for the Youth set guidelines regarding
dress and appearance. (This means – no bikinis, short shorts, or sleeveless
dresses, under any circumstance.) I KNOW it is so hard to make the choice when
immodest clothing seem so cute to us- It will be a never ending battle, but it
is worth the fight.
Ladies- we have no idea how much effect dressing
immodestly has on our young men. I have
a close friend, who once shared with me, that prior in his youth he had a
pornography problem. He had since
repented and had an amazing testimony of the atonement and forgiveness. I watched him used his past experiences to
help others to overcome their problems with this horrible addiction. Although he had overcome this, he said that
it would always be difficult for him. At
the time I did not have the strongest testimony of modesty – I was simply
following the rule because my mother had set it. There were many times that he expressed
sincere thanks for my dressing modestly – because it was so much easier for him
to be around me when I did – I vowed that I would always do my best to follow
the dressing guidelines set in the strength for the youth. What a powerful testimony to me that it does
make a difference! Even when it seems
difficult to follow, to find the clothing and wear it even when no one else is,
to resist that sexy strapless prom gown, or to sit at home and watch yet again
another chick flick while another girl is wearing a bikini at the pool with 5
guys around her. Being modest is worth
it and the blessings will come! Of that I have no doubt. Princesses of God dress modestly – and when
you do, the light of Christ will show.
When we act the part
of a princess, we can expect to be treated accordingly. A princess expects chivalry! Doors are opened
for her, an arm is offered, and phone calls are made (princesses do not accept
dates over text or Facebook). It is NOT
old fashioned, it is common respect.
However, if we stop expecting it, accepting it, and teaching it to our
future sons it will die.
Now, I’m not suggesting
that you have to stand at every door and wait forever until a man comes to open
it. Instead just take note of the men
that do. This past February I received a
simple letter inviting on a date to dinner.
I was not obsessing over this date, and really thought nothing of it
beforehand. We left that night as
acquaintances but as the night went on I found myself completely impressed with
this boy. Throughout the night I noticed
that he walked just a bit faster than me to open the door, as we traveled back
to his car he silently walked to the outside of the busy of the road, when we
made cookies at my apartment - he helped me with my dishes (even after I said I
would wash them later- personally I have a difficult time accepting help however
I am secretly impressed when help is given despite the fact that I said didn’t
need it.) I was not planning to have a
good time on this date, I was proved wrong.
This date was a complete success – and silently noted as so. I am grateful to my now, good friend for the
reminder he gave me – that gentleman, good men, do exist. I needed to learn a lesson, that is: don’t
prejudge, give every boy a chance, you never know what might happen.
In
fairy tales, the prince will do anything in his power to rescue, protect, and
take care of his princess. He serves and
loves her in everything that he is. She,
in return, helps and cares for him; she loves him with all of her heart, and
would sacrifice anything for his happiness.
We have to serve each other. President
Hinckley said, “I am satisfied that happiness
in marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for
the comfort and well-being of one’s companion. Any man who will make his wife’s
comfort his first concern will stay in love with her throughout their lives and
through the eternity yet to come”
I love the scripture D&C 88:40 “For intelligence
cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom
receiveth wisdom; truth
embraceth truth; virtue
loveth virtue; light
cleaveth unto light…” If we want our
cheesecake – or prince – we must act as
the princesses that we are. You will
attract and marry the person that you are.
If there is a quality you want in your future spouse, you must first
have it yourself.
Over the past year, I have become acquainted with so
many older single women that have never been married. Even girls that are not old yet feel
discouraged that they might never find their prince. Don’t give up!!! You will find each other! Pray for him, in this world of horrible sin,
pray to help him stay far from pornography, pray for yourself that you will be
virtuous when he arrives on his horse. J
I love the quote, “The longer you wait for something,
the more you’ll appreciate it when you get it.
Anything worth having is definitely worth waiting for.” Your prince is worth the wait. Do not settle for anything less than
cheesecake. Your fairytale is just
around the corner! Keep up your hope, he
is coming. Hans Christian Anderson said,
“Life itself is the most wonderful fairytale of all.” I have faith that it will be wonderful.
I look forward to the moment that I will kneel at an
altar, dressed in white across from my sweetheart; my eternal companion. What a wonderful day it will be. Until then, I will strive to become the
fitting princess that he searches to find.
I will never forget the timeless crown that is placed upon my head and
what it stands for – truth, righteous, and the values of my Heavenly King.
